Heartbreak

What do you do when you experience heartbreak? I'm not talking about the kind where you can brush it off, eventually. I'm talking about the kind of heartbreak where you literally feel like your heart is breaking into a million pieces over and over again. The kind of shattering heartbreak that you wonder if your heart will ever be whole again. It's the kind of heart shattering that takes away your very breath every single time you think of or are reminded of the reason for the heartbreak.

No matter how much anyone tries, they really can't make your heart whole again. They may make you feel better for a time, which is appreciated, but they can't mend your broken heart. The only way that this kind of heartbreak will go away is if the very thing you desire comes to pass.

The only people that understand this are the people that have desired something so terribly and either had to wait for it or never got it.

What makes it worse is when it seems like everyone around you has achieved this desire, sometimes more than once, or they're complaining about the very thing you desire. You want to scream at them, but at the same time, you don't want to talk about it.

You wonder if it's ever going to come to pass for you or if your heart will ever heal from the hurt. Even if you have joy and sunshine in other areas ofs your life, it's the one spot that seems like a never-ending black hole where light just gets sucked in and disappears.

I'm not going to go into detail, although you may be able to guess from a previous post what it's about, but I've been going through this for quite some time. I have to say that I really can't comprehend how anyone could go through this type of heartbreak without having a relationship with Jesus. He has been and is my saving grace. Even though I experience the heartbreak and the tears flow, I know that God has me in the palm of his hand. He's slowly piecing my heart back together and in time, it will be whole again. Don't get me wrong, there are times where it feels hopeless, my emotions get the best of me and it seems like my heart will never be whole again. This is the point where I have to remind myself of the words God has given me personally and what He says in His Word.

If that one thing never comes to pass, will you live or will you die? Will you still trust God? Will you still love God? These are questions I ask myself, daily. The answer? I'd like to say that I will live and that I will still trust and love God, but it's by His strength, not my own. It's by the hope, love and grace that He gives me.

"Breathing in your grace, breathing out your praise."

Count your blessings, big and small!